blather
on_my_way
m.m. to god don't know or care 030811
...
stork daddy the wind outside howls like a wounded animal. transforming at times into a plea into a rage. the whiskey is starting to take hold. i won't remember much after this. i'm on my way to meet the one who is supposed to take my life. i still, even in this moment feel ambivalent, and i cannot tell you whether i will at my last moment smile benevolently on my death, or beg squallidly for my life. i don't know which is more dignified, for i love life, but this is the plan i have made and i would feel perhaps ignoble to not follow through. 050227
...
Christine To let go of the anticipation
was heartbreaking,
yet all & well a sound decision,
the most logical step
i've taken in years.
Relinquishing home in
all its essence
for the sake of something else,
myself.
050228