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Syrope
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is bearable
there are only pangs of loneliness when i discover something i know you'd love if i could share it with you
or when you message me late at night to make small talk. there are the really tough times when i get excited about having a free weekend night, and i think "maybe you can come visit!" and sometimes i even wake up to expect to find you next to me, but i know it's not going to happen.
but this summer at home...living in that world, that's going to be nearly impossible. you're the only person back home i want to see at all. something in me warns "you can't fall back in love with him, dear" but then i remember that i never stopped loving you, so that if you show me any affection at all i will be back in love with you, no questions asked.
it's not so much a question of what am i supposed to do without you as to what am i supposed to do when i'm not without you except in the most important of ways?
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