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n/a
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Waiting for what has seemed, and continues to seem, like all eternity. But I know that time passes with each fallen grain of sand, and eventually, the timer will be empty, and I'll look back and laugh, and sigh. but for now, I'm in limbo. monotone. beep. beep. beep.
beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
I wake with a jolt - how long was I asleep? the hospital is quiet and subdued, it must be midnight. carefully, I get out of bed and poke around. The man in the bed next to mine is snoring softly. There is a faint mechanical background noise of drips, respirators and various unknown devices. I wander out of the ward and walk towards the end of the corridor. Why do hospitals have to be decorated so boringly? gray walls, blue carpet and steel framed windows. Like a designer prison. Into the lift, large enough to take a stretcher, I wonder how many people have died in the lift, on the way to treatment, minutes from salvation. how long does it take to die? Is it instantaneous, or do you feel the life slowing leaking away around you? I suppose it takes a lifetime to die. "the minute that we're born, we begin to die" a song lyric pops into my head.
Ping!
The doors swish open, and a voice proclaims that we are on the ground floor. I walk quickly across the room, past reception, and slip outside. I do not intend to return.
The air is cold and dry on my face, I sit on a bench and watch the city slowly drift past me, around me, into me and out of me. I am in awe of the sheer number of lives that are around me. Ten people on a bus, each with a family, friends, a cd collection and a favorite T-Shirt. A woman hurries past. She could be anyone, but I start to make up a story about her, she works in a office, I decide, and has a boyfriend who likes modern art... I give up the story (she was too boring). I sit back and look up at the buildings, the odd light on here and there. So many people, so much love, and pain, and life.
I wander past the river, it's darkness both re-assuring and scary. It's funny, the original name for the river means "dark water".. even 2000 years ago it was imposing. Now despite man's decoration of docks and factories, (converted into housing) it still seems barren, desolate.
I stand on the bridge, gazing out, a siren pierces the air in the distance, and is gone. Another life being changed. I wonder who the police are pursuing? Perhaps a thief, a murderer? I laugh. Maybe they're just running late and want to catch the sport on telly.
beep. beep. beep. someone's pager goes off near me, I jump and spin around to see a man on the other side of the bridge, talking softly into his phone.
beep. beep. beep.
I wake in familiar surroundings, a soft white light makes everything seem cleaner. A uniformed man leans over me.. "He's awake" says a soft voice. I close my eyes again.
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