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a chaotic gift to idealism
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progressive regression:
melancholy:
losing all hope:
falling where you used to stand
the most uplifting times of life
falling faster
melancholy
being happy knowing you will never be content
they once told me that, if you turely love something, you can let it go, and if it truely loves you, it will return
they never told me what comes when both love each other and let go, only to come back, and let go again
it's melancholy
it's being completely happy and content and at the same time being completely lost, completely hopeless, being without the things you love and long for.
those who could have the answer... will never know it. they are those who keep letting go because they love so much, they can never hold back the things they love. you are you and i am myself.
this is the tragedy that falls on our lives. we know how to let go. we have let go. lossening your grasp is so much easier than holding tight.
uncertainty is much easier than what is probably certain.
last time we let go, we had to scream, we had to get violent. neither of us wanted to go.
i can not do this again. it was never what i wanted to happen. this is not what i want to happen.
melancholy
i had no feeling. i had no tears, no passion, no sense of well being, no sadness that my mind allowed itself to realize. now i feel. i feel a wave of emotion rolling me under, beautiful and serene, swollowing my breath from my lungs, exhausting my body to a fetal ball on my bed.
i'm falling, again, into the place i once stood, melancholic and empty without you there to lay next to me.
the day is not over. decisions have not been written in stone.
prograssive regression. moving ever so quickly into what is unknown. traveling its way down a path that has not been made. you're eyes are still closed.
wake up
progressive regression. knowing you may leave again. i held out as long as my heart could stand. i knew how beautiful it would be with you again. my heart has longed for you for so many of the lives i have lived.
progressive regression. having you at my side, holding my arm, hugging my body, looking in my eyes. this regression should stop soon.
losing all hope. am i not your sun, your beach?
i have not lost all hope.
what do you want from me ? please stop fooling around and just speak. tell the truth and just say it. just say it.
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