random_thoughts_on_a


	random_thoughts_on_a_sunday
unhinged	all these things floating around up here and i can't nail them down. the chains i periodically place on my creativity with a special kind of severe depression that depresses everything have snapped and there is too much that wanted to get out for too long. i held my munchkin yesterday. she smiles the best. love has a way of changing my life. sometimes i hate it, sometimes i embrace it. i always want it. it's kind of like an addiction with me i guess. i can't ever feed it because when i get close to having the chance i push it all away. or i'm too afraid to admit that there might be something there. or i love the wrong people. which seems to be the case the very most of the time. i was reading my old blathes about her last night after i had been drinking a little and i realize how old and shrunken it has become. when i went there, i knew she would end up there eventually. that was where we always went together when she deemed me worthy of her presence. and she was with him....why are people like her happy? it seems so fucking unfair. friends are nothing more than people she 'shoots the shit with' and uses for drugs but i guess that's why she's always happy. goddamn. i hate her. but i don't. blahughggggrrrr. i wonder if i will chicken out tomorrow. hopefully he will go outside for a cigarette. mmmmmmm things don't seem absolutely horrible. they just look a little bad. i love you jacob. even though you haven't written me email in TWO months or returned my phone calls. sniffle	021103
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BluSmurF	Masturbating... Finger...Finger	021203
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Nathan88	just talked for three hours...yet i woulda have rather heard your voice for one more minute....so much stuff im thinkin about i just wanna talk and talk but u have to study...maybe i will actually have to study next semester now that im out of Slack U...damn i miss u...just one night alone...no one else around...no drugs or alcohol...just one true night alone with you is all i ask right now... damn i hate christmas...for someone as non-religious as my ass to take advantaeg of the presents seems to be made up by me havin to buy the presnets...ah well maybe ill bring in Big Bank from relatives i have never yet met so all this planin and know your movin back to roch...thx man...shoulda let me know be4 school was letting out down there so i woulda had some sort of back up...My ass is hangin in the breeze now with no place to go so is it a bad sign that every tme you dont feel to good your mom thinks its cuz your hungover? so i have a ten minuite speech to do yet...and a written critique...yet im too sick to do it...damn, why this week? why not last? why not yesterday...i f i woulda been sick yesterday i woulda just came home...yuo wouldnt have been sad...i could of heard your voice so much sooner... who the fuck first gets sick at 4 in the mornin when your 100 miles form home? ya know your tired when yur driving and u htink u see cars that arent really there...is that my bodies way of keeping itself on alert so it wouldnt get harmed...found it really intersting actually when i realized what was goin on...pondering how the human mind works is just immaculately impossible FAVORITE DRUNKEN QUOTE "how can someone else get you off if u dont know how to yourself" why do women have such a hard time admitting to it? thats what ive always pondered...lets say u get a good feelin when you...i dunno...eat choclate...or go shopping...or lifting weights or ahng out with your freinds...people admit to that...so why is it sdo hard to admit to self-enduced pleasure? if there was one thing i could ask for as a special talent...i dont think it would be to fly or see through things or have all the mmoney in the world...i think itd be to knwo th elyrics to every single song and have the voice to sing them all ...or maybe just play the guitar so if when th etruth us told u hurt ther peolpes feelings you shouldnt tell it? or perhaps the people who hide the truth self-loath in their own problems and just want to stay that way ive been slackin on the surprises im sowwy MEOW or MOW u decide hahaha so my best freinds new roomate barks when he sees a girl he likes...is there a reason hes stil single? orrr?...poor joe how the fuck is he ever gonna meet anyone whent he person he parties with fuckin barks...seriously who the fuck barks...how immature could u get...ive heard 2 year old with better pic up lines Counter-Strike is fun..anyone ever play that...its soo addicting...or maybe im just a silent computer nerd...all well who xares at elat im havin fun...G-Man i know u play that shit...Disgruntled Painter...wasnt that your name? damn that summer was fun too bad i didnt come around more often...too al the College-Pro...and the College=Pro wannabe Ladder talk willl forver remain on the ladders...i cannot step on a ladder anymore without thinkin bout all those convo's...Conoco Breaks will forver remain classic...Steve...u realize becuz of you and some fate i guess i have met the girl of my dreams? your ass naggin me everyday..ot more than a week after CPro was done did i finally build the nutz to do it....then...ironically one summer later on the same fuckin day did u introduce me tgo the most beautiful women on this earth...Thx Bro all the ironys are just crazy... damn we shoulda met earlier...did u get the name of the guy u kissed at Johnnie Holmes? tell me cuz i think i might know them...it wasnt Big Pimpin...but one of his freinds...wasnt Kurt was it...damn not Kurt hahahha plaeae tell me its not Kurt hahaha Were u at the mall with steve that day...the day i saw him and joanna at sam goody? they said they were with some other girlz but they were somewehre else...thatd be weird if t was you...u memebr whatu got for xmas that year? cuz maybe they were gettin u a gift at sam goody...wow that'd be weird maybe i should write a book What i want to teach my kidz...the only true message ill ever try to emphasize...whtehr guy or girl...be nice to everyone in school...u never know whos gonna come back form college hot as hell...but i guess attractivness is just individual perspectives you are beautiful if things are said enough then people wil start to beleive them mor eand more evry day...i just hope u realize that u are:) who needs to proofread...i spose if i did every now and then it wouldnt hurt...granted i still get A's on my papers but wha happens when the teachers no longer buy into my BS...i fuckin screwed i smell i need a shower i think everyone should try this...tyope everything they think about all in arow its crazy...maybe it cause balther server shut down...which wouldnt be cool...what happenes when blather goes away...maybe i should print this stuff off so i forevr have it...so it never gets lost i am an older brother with no face:( so when is it time to draw the line on youth and really let them know the truth...my sister is such a lil brat...anyione believe in 3 fold...cuz damn shes got it coin to her...she has the nerve to call my sister chubby and think its a put down...so shes a lil bigger...i bet shes more comfortable with herself than you are...u are skinny, she is heavy, i am tall, you are shirt, does it really matter?priceless is the analysis of self-worth life is a game...i belive in reincarnation...but i thnk its h ow you do in th elife...whatu makje of it etc. which chooses the path of your next life...once u have found the one have found them for eternity... i am almost cryin right now thinkin about What Dreams May Come... i member u were holdin myhand but u were tryin to conceal it int he blanket from your mom hahaha that was funny cuz i k dont think u realized it if typing was relavant to ones life then i suck at life haha Sayings that can have muliple meanings i liek to use: Like Whoa Game Over Move Bitch Get Out Da Way hmmm...only there are many different variations and tones were u really impressed by me rappin...or was is os drubnk that the words just seemd to flow but werent pronounced that well OutKast dont love the kids...Trick Luv Da Kids CHICKEN im hyper never typed this much in my lif ei dont think...much reading enjoyment will come fo this Simpsons forever classic...who could use the same plots and still be as funny as the simpsons...perhaps the best tv show ever I am going to propse a 24/7 sompsons channel Techno is my Favorite i cannot get enough "its like when your ont he merry-go-round..only your not, your just wacthing it" me talkin about ceiing fans while intoxicated i think im gonna stop smokin weed for awhile...my freinds have all fo the sudden developed a dependancy and i feel like its my fault This break is gonna be interestiong...so much drama...in every aspect...whats goin to happen is not in my hands but will end up relating directly back to me...gd that sfrstarting.. im gonna stop now and go get something accomplished Song of the Day: Homer's Meow remix	021215
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mad	you are a fucking waste of space	021215
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stork daddy	refuse to lose coach...i refuse to lose! (gets hit hard by some guy). get up! i refuse to get up coach. i refuse to be able to move anything beneath my torso. i refuse to be able to breathe witout a ventilator but i refuse to lose! (a single tear drops down). you bottle that tear gentleman...that is a special tear! put it in our water so we may all be filled with his heart. YOU DRINK THE TEAR WATER...we will market it! one tear per bottle. his spirit will course through our veins...that sounds homoerotic...YOU SHUT UP! oh...200 raisins per box huh? well we'll see about that! 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and 5 neil diamond is a girl's best friend. nico died somehow. sad eh?	021215
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angie	i dont k now how to begin sad bout my family tired so very tired i want everything to be okay i know it will be okay i just.. want these things to get easier over time instead of harder i need to think before i speak and think before i act i am so sorry i came into this with the intention of writing my thoughts, just getting it out on here... all i know is that my feelings for u will never change i care for u so deeply, anything we want to accomplish is possible i want my family to get over this as soon as possible i just want it to be quick... none of this slow...dragged out stuff that is just pure torture... thank u for helping my through this i cant wait to be in your arms for the rest of the nite until we meet again	030202