blather
mom_and_me_in_1986
sixteen paper bark woven perfectly around a tree
and grass growing straight towards the sky
dreaming of reaching the sun.
a photograph with a tire swing
dangling precariously in the blurry backdrop
is held in a careful, smudge free grip.
details go unnoticed
as a baby is kissed and held and cradled and loved
in a mother's arms.
She is number three,
loved with a practiced uncondition.
shutters are madly opening and closing
on an old camera,
focusing on the new baby and the passionately loving mother.
The picture is, 16 years later,
warped with dried tears
and polluted with reckless fingerprints--
contact vying for the past
and the love
that was once so evident.
030531
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. a practiced uncondition...i like that 030531
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megan she gave birth to me and a boy named eric
we were suppose to be identical twins, they only saw one amniotic sac
and she was so surprised she got a girl out of the deal she cried
and instead of naming me zachary, they named me megan
and i was a miracle...or so they told me
i had to have a heartbeat cot for the first year, because i had been so close to her heart during the pregnancy that i could not live without the constant heartbeat. and i had to be wrapped up very very tightly.
and i was a miracle...or so they told me
i was in my walker one evening... i was only 1. i went down our basement steps tumbling head over heel, and they were open steps (meaning i could fall over the side at any moment). i went straight down and hit the bottom. i had no scratches or bruises on me. i smiled.
and i was a miracle...or so they told me
i'm sixteen and still a virgin with a boyfriend i've had for going on 2 years now
and i was a miracle...or so they told me

and all these things are true.
030531
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no offense Megan, almost every kid has fallen down the stairs as an infant. 030601
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Novice I was just born....my mom was nice then, she didn't---forget it 030804
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x we would play candyland and dance to van morrison. i would try to get her to brush my hair and she's say it was already brushed. i would try to get her attention when she was reading the paper by climbing under the paper. sometimes that made her mad. 030805
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Fire&Roses We went every where. You and me mommy. We went to the beach... I didn't cry... we were independent even then. Until that June... not that I remember any of it.

I love you mommie. You will always be my Ladie.
030805
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Somebody that I used to know it was cold in Iceland, i am still cold here in California, but for different reasons. 050112