you_would_have_been_proud_god
unhinged
remember
when
i
read
that
blathe
you
picked
out
on
stage
at
the
nyabinghi?
well
,
i
got
published
again
this
year
in
the
school
literary
magazine
and
of
course
i
sent
in
some
of
my
blathes
.
i
write
a
lot
of
my
poetry
here
.
they
had
this
release
party
where
they
had
people
reading
.
i
got
there
to
pick
up
my
copy
and
my
roommate
that
was
on
staff
at
the
magazine
wanted
me
to
read
.
i
didn't
know
what
they
had
published
and
i
went
over
to
check
it
out
and
the
only
one
that
i
actually
really
liked
that
i
submitted
that
they
actually
published
was
le_petit_mort
i
knew
i
had
to
read
that
one
.
so
i
got
up
onstage (
well
it
wasn't
really
a
stage
because
they
had
it
at
inner
circle
,
this
pizza
place
RIGHT
across
the
street
from
campus
where
all
the
upper
classmen
go
to
get
drunk
between
classes
)
or
the
floor
rather
and
all
of
a
sudden
all
these
people
were
looking
at
me
.
i
started
to
read
and
i
was
really
nervous
like
i
did
when
i
read
onstage
with
your
band
and
my
hands
started
to
shake
again
so
bad
that
i
couldn't
read
so
i
had
to
put
the
book
on
the
music
stand
in
front
of
me
and
hold
on
to
it
for
dear
life
.
i
had
to
nod
my
head
when
i
was
done
reading
because
for
a
split
second
after
i
finished
everyone
was
still
and
quiet
.
the
applause
were
kind
of
strange
because
everyone
in
the
place
was
staring
at
me
like
i
had
two
heads.
i
walked
away
from
the
mike
and
headed
towards
the
bar
and
i
felt
like
all
these
people
were
staring
at
me
.
maybe
they
were
,
maybe
they
weren't
.
i
sat
down
at
the
bar
and
ordered
a
jack
'n'
coke
.
my
standard
.
i
had
my
first
jack
'n'
coke
at
the
nyabinghi.
frank
bought
it
for
me
.
there
was
this
girl
that
i
vaguely
remembered
sitting
at
a
table
behind
the
bar
and
when
i
went
to
sit
down
i
caught
her
eye
and
she
was
looking
at
me
like
i
had
two
heads.
or
maybe
not
.
i
had
another
jack
'n'
coke
and
two
shots
and
then
i
left
and
smoked
a
bowl
in
the
taco
bell
drive
thru
.
030522
...
god
life
is
for
living
.
you
write
real
good
.
everyone
should
look
at
you
.
you
are
good
to
look
at
.
030522
...
unhinged
(
i
have
come
to
regard
this
performance
of
mine
as
...seminal.
those
people
in
that
audience
were
silenced
by
me
.
the
only
other
time
i
felt
an
audience
like
that
was
after
i
sang
my
blues
song
about
wanting
a
girlfriend
in
a
crowded coffeehouse
that
served
beer
at
in
Wisconsin
.
in
both
cases
the
audience
was
still
...silent
and
unmoving
when
I
finished
.
in
both
cases
there
was
an
undercurrent
of
discomfort
in
the
audience
because
i
was
being
too
honest
. midwestern sensibilities
were
riled.
the
current
me
finds
it
pretty
awesome
that
i
had
that
audience
in
the
palm
of
my
hand
.)
180529
...
unhinged
autocorrect
is
my
nemesis
180531
...
unhinged
this
was
all
a
different
life
the
only
thing
that
has
remained
a_constant_throughout
blather
200327
