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SomeoneElse
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For months I listened to your asinine drivel.
Held you in mental arms made soft by kind words,
Made strong by mantras of who you really were.
Consoled your lamentations,
Promised that the idea of you was infinitely definable
And ultimately obtainable.
Showed you the doorway to the imagination
And the abundance of dreams made manifest.
Forever falling you were,
But I showed you how the direction was determined simply by your perception.
All this, all this,
Yet when that most sacred and intimate moment arrived,
And you spoke a name into the darkness,
It was not mine you called.
Pen to paper it was hers,
Words to screen another,
Your lips to my vulva -
"What did you just call me?"
And you wonder why my back is turned...
And when you needed a signiture
To free you from that cold, white analyst's room,
It was my name that escorted you back to colour.
Hardly knowing you, I believed regardless.
And when people fled from you
In a terror of misunderstanding,
Did I not stand and affirm your experience with you?
Supporting you,
For if you felt it,
A Truth was there, right?
Always I understood and embraced your confessions.
But when my turn for confidence came
And I spoke to you in that dark room
Of how the 'protection'
That is placed between a Woman and man's flesh had failed,
Of how the intimacies of our life had called forth another -
You ran,
You fled,
You hid.
So I was left alone to be the strongest Woman I knew how
In another cold white room -
Willfully raped, infinitely scarred.
Two months later you re-appeared and wondered why my back was turned...
Whilst I am on the subject,
What of you who took me to your house and murdered a virgin?
Or you who used the fragility of the aftermath of rape
To coerce your way inside of me,
Telling me that I'd,
"Be good at sex some day"?
And you Mr Tuesdayafternoonpianoteacherputyourhandstonguedickinsideofme,
How does that year of theft
From a 9 year olds life
Bear on your conscience?
And you,
You who stand there safe in your distance
Full of distain,
Finding me too agressive,
Too angry,
Too bitter.
Do you wonder why my back is turned?
You probably do,
Coward...
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000526
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