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endless desire
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she wants to be sure
she exists
she feels
she knows
she is.
so she slips those sharp things by her skin and watches the red liquid fall in the most magical patterns. there is no sting or regret, only a total sense of understanding. the world feels centered and controlled--all she wants to do is hold it. feel it, manipulate it to her desire so that nothing bad will ever happen again. so that she can save herself from anymore pain.
she wants to be sure these feelings stay away. she'll hide herself in white corners and blend it with pasty self. pale features from staying indoors and hiding in shadows for days and days and days.
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040122
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