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perfectly_chaotic
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human_credentials
I have resented myself for repeatedly having made the same mistakes in regards to the opposite sex, sexual relations, drugs, alcohol, breaking the law, being dishonest with myself and others, unrealistic expectation, and believing I need validation from outside sources.
I can have major feelings of anger and have spent most of my life repressing them. While I appreciate that my parents did not want me to fight they should have at least explained to me how to express that energy.
Low self-esteem and self-respect have caused me to treat others poorly.
I have been burdened by black clouds of depression, shame and guilt.
I have become much too attached, envious, jealous, controlling, possesive and manipulative.
I have, so far, started most of these paragraphs with a certain single-letter word.
My love for others occurs when I can free myself from being oppressed by that single-letter word. Yet, I am learning to care for myself.
My happiness is dependent on me thinking of you. So, yes, my caring for you is also selfish in a certain sense since I get something out of it too.
My terror is relieved when I wish you to be well, happy, free from suffering, filled with loving kindness, filled with joy, and at peace and ease.
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