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Mahayana
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im such a fucked up mess
_i_cant_feel_____anymore
all i do is work & that is it
and all i want to do is work
so that i dont think, i dont wanna
constantly be reminded how alone i am,
i dont want to constantly be reminded of how good i used to feel, i dont wanna be constantly reminded that im still alive- i just want to work- work- work and not question anything, the more i work- the farther i am from being fully conscious that i am still alive- not really alive- but just here
when i hurt i dont wanna feel
when i dont feel i wanna hurt
and its been so long now
that i just wanna feel pain again.
somehow ...lately... im not alive unless theres pain, i cant feel anything anymore- so i welcome the pain- but there is none- cuz you need people in your actual day to day life it seems in order to have pain- and there is no-one here- just me ... its just me
and the only pain left is physical pain
[the blue & yellow flames] :dance:
cuz im such a fucked up mess
_i_cant_feel_____anymore
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020805
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