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____3_things_i_am_thankful_4____
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Mahayana
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+ having been awake to witness the song & movements of our backyard morning doves [they love to bask under the sun ontop of the laundry poles]
+ incomparable support, understanding, & unconditional love of a gamma, mother, & of a sacred love throughout many lifetimes [sa:rah:]
+ slowly becoming the master of my moods
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020427
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Arwyn
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+ The patience I have been taught through months of worry and hope.
+ The love of a man who would give his life for me and I for him.
+ The realization that I don't have to care what people think anymore because it is my life and not theirs.
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020427
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yummychuckle
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+the new control I have over my life, and the feeling of freedom that has come from this mess of detatchment from my mother.
+the few people i have been emailing a lot and getting email from lately, who grace me with their wonderful words (namely josh).
+the internet, and all of my other writing tools.
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020427
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unhinged
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my drugs
the people that are concerned about my drugs
the people that understand why i need my drugs
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020427
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becclebee
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love of family and friends
the ability to laugh
the sun
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020428
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Mahayana
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+ conversations that bring me back towards where i should be & with whom i should be with, the way i can [hear] her blushings & smiles through phone lines, the way in which she gets [shy] with me sometimes, the way i have to sometimes giggle & remind her to breath ... breath baby breath ... her [ok's][yes's] and [mmm hmmm's & uhhh uh's], her shups!, yawns, & giggels, the way she asks me to say certain words over because of my [weird accent] baby say [bag for me] baby say [rack, roof ..etc], the way we *sigh* together, the way we dream together, how she asks me to come rescue her [knowing very well if i did her *rational mind* would not allow her to come away with me], the way she asks me to run away with her & start all over ... anew life together, the way we plan another possible visit within the next 10 days... thinking of kisses, hugs, having someone to hold again as i fall asleep, the way i can picture her walking up to me for the first time [all over again] the sights, sounds, smells of being there with her... never wanting to leave... the way her nose glowed as if she were a weeping sanata claus ... upon our goodbyes ... these beautiful things i am all thankful for ... and all because i heard your voice again lastnight [my love ... how i miss your voice, i always do, it is like coming home when i hear you all over again]i love all the many ways i come home to you
+ how oddly safe & protected i feel when i sleep on the floor in my closet ... door closed ... blanket over me ... pillow under my head ... and another pillow to hold as if my love was in front of me ... close safe & protected by my sleeping arm across and over her hip ... holding her hand ...her hand holding mine [oh how i cherish these moments]
+ chance to start my life all over again
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020428
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Kate
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+ the smell of the row of apple blossom trees lining the sidewalks in the estates, just the right distraction as I run by them
+ my favourite pair of pants and how they are perfectly too long
+ J.D. Salinger books and good friends to share them with
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020428
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photophobe
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art
music
words
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020428
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kerry
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music
my friends
myself
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020429
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Mahayana
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+ great smelling laundry
+ count down is at: 2 days
+ great anticipations of :hugs, smiles, laughs, giggles, tickels, pressing on chins *puts hands on hips & gives a stern but silly look*, tickels, spooning while falling asleep, eyes that talk to each other, silly shower raids, fingers inbetween fingers, the looks, the color red, someone loving/anticipating/waiting for me, that first hug upon a meet, first words, her southern accent, the way she moves, the way she says-i love you sass/goodnight/goodmorning/c'mere, the way she looks as shes falling asleep, the way if i move in the middle of the night just to see ... just to see ... how long it takes her to realize that i have moved and to see how long it takes her body to come back into mine, how in the middle of sleeping if she goes to put the fan on- i wake up all concerned and ask her where she is going ... cuZ if she needed something id want to get it for her and if she was going somewhere oh how my body would miss her closeness, the way i held onto her hips as she reached from bed to desk, the way her face lights up when shes near me, the way she runs her fingers through her hair-the way she tends to
mine when it falls down in front, the way she just exists, the way she is completely her true self with me ... the way she can say anything to me & i adore everyword ... even if she thinks shes being crude *giggles* which she never is ... the way she smells on my skin when i kiss her even though she doesnt wear a scent, the way she gets really shy and if you mention it or kiss her cheeks while shes shy ... shell become even more shy and blush even more so, the way her blushings trail along her body, the way her nose and cheeks take on red shades of blushings when she cries, the way she looked in her red hoodie when she cried during our first goodbye-& the way it broke my heart, the way she reaches out for my hand when walking somewhere, *that* certain look on her face which happens to make me ohhh so weak all over, her whispers & the way she teases me saying how not even my whispers are quiet, rar's, but most of all i am thankful for the opportunity to hold her in my arms once again... to be close once again as we are within.
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020504
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Kate
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She should be thankful for you.
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020504
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Mahayana
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+ bounty and blessedness of all plantforms especially those that sustain & nourish us, those that shelter us, clothe us, protect us, guide us, comfort us, heal us, provide respites from the suns smile upon our skin, those that dance & sing, smile at us, wish us well, whisper to us, show us the ways, remind us of our pasts, hints of the future and memories of living spaces ... and dreams of future ones [let us be reminded to respect, love, and look after these life forms that have been doing and that do so much for all of us that walk, slither, swim, fly and pass on through]
+ the atisokanak world "cheebi-akeeng"
"land of the soul-spirits"
+ a certain extensive conversation
"disscussion" i had the other night, it was invigorating to have brought into being such magnificence 'and' an even deeper strength of love through a time of disagreement & probable frustration with each other. one soul trying desperately to comprehend something that which is not of her own lively perspective & another soul expanding within the limitless boundaries of discovery & disclosure ... unearthing that others might actually want to recognize what she thinks & feels, rather than trying to deconstruct & remold a life .. a person .. a consciousness .realizations. that appreciating & revealing was what was at hand rather than criticizing & defensiveness through these moments of give give take take even greater understandings had emerged ... i have seen a side that was dreading to have been exposed within the illumination of my eyes ... but rather than dinginess i saw potential and strength ... & i feel affection for her ever more so for having seen this side .nothing. could ever prevent me or dissuade my all within from wanting to know you, love you, and grow within our earthly & wateriness for i am here 'with you' to repave all corners into curves of cyclical understanding, acceptance, & compassion you are the loveliness in my life you are the life in my loveliness you are you and i cherish these treasures of self you present onto me with each lungful of air, with each piece of your self you share, every motion of chance you take with me - with us-
--in your character i could drown and still live to tell the tale--
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020522
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somedaysam
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3.) I am thankful for the THREE sons you and I have
2.) I am thankful for the TWO of us being together
1.)I am thankful for the ONE true love we share
From somedaysam's "simple things to be very grateful for"
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020522
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yessireebob
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pussy pussy pussy
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020522
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bethany
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my right brain's imaginiation
not having to wear those head shawls that islamic women wear
gud fud and that my grandma bakes something fresh everyday
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020522
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Rhin
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+ i am thankful for the precious life that is growing inside of me
+ i am thankful for those that hear me, and love me in return despite that fact
+ i am thankful for all of the color that i see in life...even the dark
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020522
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silent storm
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+ that 2 years is NOT an eternity, even though right now it feels like it is
+ that ive found someone who loves me just as i am
+ for the beautiful words she composes for me
i love you so much, sass.
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020523
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Mahayana
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+ sarah :]
+ laughter
+ pissing [clear as water] pee
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020621
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god
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sounds good
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020621
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Mahayana
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1 seeing & being w/my brothers asento & vicente today
2 seeing & being w/my lil niece nana & her moma theresa
3 meeting my new sortof sister amanda & having good conversations all day long, filled with family-love-and lots of teasing
[i got my family back & they love me]
*bonus thankfullness*
i was able to give lots of house items away today and made lots of people smile, god that felt oh so good :)
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020818
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~gez~
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nat. her. you.
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020826
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minnesota_chris
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people are beautiful and amusing
wine
i am talented
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040229
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Mahayana
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1] Lino Prints & printmaking in general
2] Diving back into artistic expressions
3] The fact that no matter how depressed i am, i always somehow keep on fighting & making it through another day.
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060105
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