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5_and_15
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birdmad
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five years since two sheets of paper laid the foundation for the ways in which i've learned to dislike myself, and more evidence to confirm them than to disprove
fifteen years since i graduated from high-school, the greatest anti-climax of my youth.
arhitecturally speaking, i'm not a good use of space.
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040528
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Miss Anonna
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"architecturally speaking,i'm not a good use of space"
If you feel this badly about yourself, then why on earth would anyone want to invest any time getting to know you? I would wager money that there are people here who feel very differently about your worth than the above quote,but in the end it comes down to you having to believe in it yourself. Sometimes people give off a negative/depressing energy(picture Eeyore and the raincloud that follows him everywhere). Maybe this is why you're by yourself.
Then again,it would help if you didn't live in the past so much too. It can't be terribly fun for any potential girlfriends to have to compete with female ghosts from(your)past memories.
If you spend all your time looking at where you've already been you'll never have the chance to see the road straight in front of you.
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040529
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un corbin en coulere ou corbin fou
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whenever i do meet anyone
i do my best to try and bury all of that, and it isn't always my ghosts that trip things up.
i'm always hoping for a little help to chase my "ghosts" out of my head and my heart when they do crop up, not using them as a barricade to keep anyone out.
though i'll admit that the fear of history going and repeating itself for the Nth time ha kept me from getting up and trying again
i don't like being a whipping boy if there isn't an actual whip involved because the sting of a lash is infinitely more bearable than the sting of crash-and-burn, but that's a whole other set of issues anyway
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040601
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Miss Annona
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Two nice quotes about fear:
"Don't fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.
-- Louis E. Boone."
"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.
--William Shakespeare
I hope you find those encouraging, and please know that my observations were not intended to be harmful whips on your character,but rather a (hopefully) helpful observation. It was my goal to try and help inspire you. I felt that after having read several of your entries relating to romance,your living alone would be a terrible injustice to both yourself and the lucky lady you could potentially end up with.
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040601
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