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195. He who tries to make out, is too easily caught off guard. All startlement is hubris, thus speaks mankind. And yet, it is only on account of your hubris that mankind is still permitted to resound in you.
And if you say to him: I no longer have one vanity with you, verily, that will be an irony and too much mercy for him.
Behold, this mercy and irony was itself born from one hubris, one vanity: and the final glimmer of this vanity still glows upon your mercy, and paints it in all the colours of irony.
But you desire to make out your vanity, with many colours that is even hard to make out-- for you desire to make out yourself? Ah! There is so much prurience, so much desire to make out and discern! But if you should discern- what then would become of this lust for discernment? Ha! It would jump upon your back, and startle you! Show me then, that you do not have your back turned, lest vanity sneak unto it! In the least I prey that you become a star-gazer, and lay unto your back in this meadow so that your lust may call unto the stars, and call until it falls back down into you, exasperated.
Are you pregnant even unto expectation, ever watchful even unto pregnancy? Or do you expect with purple guesses and cordons of golden estimations! For even unto this sort of expectation do nimble little promises jump unto and surprise!
Discovered unto yourself, what is that to a pregnant woman? Lovingly shall your surprise declare unto me what has been discovered from yourself.
Verily, the bearing of children is a consummation and relinquishment of all vanities and ironies! Consequently, in the bearing of children one leaves behind all mercy for mankind: the bearing of a child, what greater danger and remorselessness is there unto mankind?
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