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a clever disguise
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I will be 30 in 2 weeks.
I have a 4 year old daughter. She is the greatest thing that ever happened to me, but being pregnant and having an infant were two of the worst times in my life. I never want to do that again.
So, I'm a single mother and I never want to have more kids. Let's break this down.
I want the man I would date to be a good father figure for my daughter. He doesn't have to be her FATHER, per se, but he needs to be paternal in some way. However, I don't want to have more kids, so I would need a man who is paternal, but also doesn't want kids.
As far as I can gather, the only man who would fit these criteria would be a single father. There aren't a whole lot of men out there who don't have kids and don't want to have kids of their own but would be paternal towards Bernadette. Men my age without kids want kids. If they don't, could they be a good influence on Bernadette or could they get over the fact that I have a kid? So, single, non-kid-having men are out.
If I have learned anything from my most recent breakup, it's that a divorced man is practically never fully open. They suffered through a failed marriage, they had their children stripped away, they have a lot of unresolved feelings. There's the comparison of the "marriage" to everything else. They have a lot of issues that I don't want to deal with again. Listen, if you're hurt or imperfect, that's fine I'll handle it. But not at some bastardized rate of reciprocation because you already did that once. Divorced guys are out.
I guess there are the guys who had a kid out of wedlock and decided not to marry the mother, but I already have a guy like that in my life (my daughter's father) and again, not sure these guys are the best role models for my daughter. Count them out, too.
So, I've pretty much just Xed out every man on the planet. I guess I am going to wait 14 years to date again. I'll be 44, my child will be off at college (hopefully) and I can date whoever I want without regard for kids.
The good news is I tend to think guys in this age group are hot. I like a little grey in the beard, so this could really work for me.
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